Influence is a powerful thing. It can make a difference in your life, which is why it's important to understand its nuances. This article will give you some ideas on how to raise mentally strong kids and be the best influence possible for your child.
Mentally strong kids can be difficult to raise because of their ability to resist the feelings that adults try so hard to change them into something they're not. But it's also a challenge for parents because we feel like we have so much invested and our children don't understand and often reject our efforts.
The mental strength of a child is strongly influenced by how it's raised, especially when you're trying to influence the way your child thinks.
Be mentally strong. We all want our kids to be like us and it's very tempting to try and change them into the exact replica of the kind of people we want them to be. It's important, though, to accept your children for who they are and make an effort not to overstep their boundaries and force them into a mold they're not ready for or don't like. If you can do that, you'll make a big difference in how they turn out and what kind of person they eventually become.
Be mentally strong and raise mentally strong kids. This is different than having a kid who's simply strong minded. You don't want to allow your child to become brash and arrogant and think they're the greatest and these traits will only lead to discontent and unhappiness in his or her life. If you do choose to raise a defiant kid, let it be for unfortunate reasons such as the fact that your parents were also difficult or they've been abused or neglected or they just have a hard time benefitting from people telling them what to do. If they're rebellious out of ignorance, it's unlikely that their behavior will go away with just a little more guidance and understanding.
Children learn more through interacting with people rather than listening to teachers. Though it may be tempting to stick your child in front of a computer, the best way to nurture their mental strength is by getting them involved and interacting with others.
Mentally strong kids aren't just brave and bold, they're resilient: able to overcome both external and internal challenges. They don't invest too much into whether their opinions and choices make sense to those around them; they feel free to explore new ideas—even if it's outside of what's "normally" done.
Mentally strong kids like playing with fire all the time—it keeps them sharp and helps develop their problem solving skills.
Mentally strong kids don't let their setbacks stop them—they see them as learning opportunities and grow from them. They also take risks, view failure as part of the deal, and continue to persevere on their path to success.
Being frustrated is one thing, but how we handle it says a lot about our character and mental strength. Mentally strong kids work hard to accept responsibility for what happens in life and learn from their mistakes instead of blaming others or feeling sorry for themselves.5. They are honest
Honesty is always the best policy, mentally strong kids know this. They don't sugar coat the truth—they're honest with themselves and others.
Mentally strong kids never waste time being idle or aimless. They have goals and aspirations for their lives and they work toward them every day. They also have meaningful relationships, but it never takes away from their main objective—they serve others because they want to, not because they are obligated to do so.
Mentally strong kids are willing to listen to ideas that are contrary to what they believe in—and do so without feeling offended when someone has a different point of view than them.
Once they have a goal to work toward, they don't let it go for that reason. Mentally strong kids do things because they want to do them—not because other people want them to do them.
A lot of the time mentally strong kids don't need others to take action for them, but when you need someone else's help, it only makes the situation worse by delaying getting things done. Mentally strong kids are proactive—they think through their decisions so they can take action instead of waiting around for someone else to make decisions for them.
Here are ten of the best snippets of insight any parent can be armed with to help you raise tough and mentally strong kids.
1. Admit to yourself that life is hard, and your kids will need to learn to face tough situations.
2. Help your child grow their independence by teaching them how to do things for themselves that they are capable of. As they become more independent, teach them how to not need you as much, so they can be strong when you're not around.
3. Allow your children the opportunity to have different experiences with people who are different from them so they can grow empathy towards others.
4. Remain an open book because the more connected children feel with their parents, the less likely they are to act out or bully others due to being hurt themselves in the past...
5. Teach your kids to have respect for nature so they can protect it.
6. Teach your children to give back by helping others less fortunate than them.
7. Teach your children about the power of their voice so they can speak out against bullying, violence, and injustice in the world.
8. Teach your children to be good listeners because listening is an active process that requires one's full attention while speaking is a passive activity that requires very little thought or effort.
9. Teach your children self-respect by treating them with respect and encouraging them to always do the right thing even when no one else is looking...
10. Teach your children to be fearless because fear is an illusion, there is virtually nothing to fear in this world if you know what you are doing.
11. Teach your children about the consequences of their actions by always letting them know that whatever they do will either attract something good or something bad into their lives. The same goes for character traits like optimism, pessimism, sympathy, greed, etc., which will also attract only more of the same into their lives.
12. Teach your children to take care of their bodies by making physical activity fun so they want to do it...
13. Teach your children how to fail so they always try again...
14. Teach your children how to communicate with others by showing them that the person they are speaking with is equally important as they are.
15. Teach your children to overcome adversity by pretending adversity doesn't exist...
16. Teach your children to think big so they can dream big...
17. Teach your children who to talk to, where to go, what to say, and what not to say so they never embarrass themselves or their family...
18. Teach your children how to be mentally strong by having them reach out for help when they need it...
-Stay connected with your child and show interest in their activities, thoughts, and concerns.
-Give them the opportunity to make decisions as they grow older. Encourage them to make mistakes; those mistakes will teach them valuable lessons.
-Be firm with consequences for any wrongdoing, but always give second chances if they deserve it.
-Find ways to encourage your child’s own interests and passions by giving them extra time for those tasks over chores or other responsibilities that don’t suit their interests; this also teaches responsibility and self-sufficiency.
-Take care of yourself by eating right and exercising regularly.
-Encourage your children’s friendships, but don’t give them preferential treatment. While this is a good way to form their relationships, it can cause jealousy and resentment if it is done unilaterally.
-Raise money for the school by selling candy or flowers.
-Don’t allow your child to become a victim or feel sorry for themselves by starting them on any unhealthy eating habits at an early age.
-Help your children identify positive behavior and be open to dialogue about their behavior. Lean on them for advice as they grow up, as some of those conversations will come in handy one day when they are parenting their own kids.
Now that we’ve covered all of the important things you should do to raise mentally strong kids, here’s a look at the “Do Not’s”.
1. Don’t expose them too much to media–too much time in front of TV or computer screens makes it difficult for kids to get involved with their own thoughts and imagination, which are essential parts of building mental strength.
2. Don’t give in when they make unreasonable demands--you may think you are being a good parent by giving in every time your child throws a tantrum, but this can backfire. Children who are spoiled early on grow up to feel entitled to other people's attention and resources, which only serve to weaken their self-esteem later on in life.
3. Don’t give them money to solve their problems--this is also an example of parents giving in to unreasonable demands. While little kids are often only trying to get something they want, once they grow up, it can easily become an unhealthy dependency on things.
4. Don’t let them get away with things--as parents, we probably feel like we shouldn’t nag or punish our children too much because they are little and don’t understand that they shouldn’t do what they did (and don't want us to do the same thing). But if kids learn that there is no consequence for doing bad things, then they will continue doing them more often.
5. Don’t simply ignore their bad behavior--this encourages other kids to bully other kids or pick on them, which can lead to a cycle of negativity and a lack a self-esteem.
6. Don’t use physical discipline--physical discipline teaches children that it is okay to hit or hit back in response to perceived mistreatment, which only makes it more likely that children will become physically aggressive when someone else does something they don’t like. Instead, take a moment and tell your child how you feel about the situation, and if the child continues acting out, then give them a time-out instead.
Mental toughness largely translates to personal survival and includes the persistence to persevere in the face of difficulty, setbacks, and obstacles so as not to give up or succumb to defeat. Though lack of such skill may be a weakness in some instances, it may also be a strength in others. For example, if someone is constantly getting knocked down but continues fighting on their feet with all their might , it is difficult for their opponent to take them down and they can triumphantly rise out of each situation that would have defeated another person.